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The Beer Song    

Cold gold makes you old, way before your time,
Cold gold makes you sleep right through your prime...
Now...
Whiskey is for celebratin',
Beer just gives you body weight, n',
Comes out of your ears before you're drunk.

Drink it by the six-pack, glug it by the quart,
Guzzle it by the gallon 'til you start to snore and snort, 'n
Got a belly like you're pregnant,
To get a woman you gotta beg, n'
She won't be much to look at anyway.

Taste it when you're ten, drink it by thirteen,
Waste it 'til you realize it makes you obscene...
And makes you act like a mad man,
Let's hope it's just a fad, an'
That they'll change that legal age to thirty one...
For drinkin'...

Cold gold makes you old, way before your time,
Cold gold makes you sleep right through your prime,
I said that...
Whiskey is for celebratin',
Beer just gives you body weight, n',
Comes out of your ears before you're drunk.

Well, now, there's cheap beer, there's prime brew,
There's imported ale...
There's cheap people, like us, catchin' every beer sale,
So we can drink while we're paintin',
Drink until we faint, n',
When we come to we start over once again.

Twelve ounces...sixteen ounces...thirty-two, or more...
Just keep it goin', right on down,
That hole that's in your jaw...
Until you've spent your last nickel,
Your mind is really pickled,
And it's time that we headed for the bar.

"Well, I can't walk..."
"But you better drive, 'cause I can't see..."
Somehow we always seem to reach that mahogany...
So won't you set 'em up, and don't let it up,
'Til we hiccup, and can't get up,
And we all commence to singin' this here song.

Cold gold makes you old, way before your time,
Cold gold makes you sleep right through your prime,
Don't you know that...
Whiskey is for celebratin',
Beer just gives you body weight, n'
Comes out of your ears before you're...
Comes out of your ears...

Comes out of your ears before you're
Knocked down, sprawled out,
Stoned cold drunk.
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